Monday, July 6, 2009

Anguished Hearty Heart

..Tired Heart..
..Disturbed Soul..
..Ruined Hopes..
..Faked Smiles..

It hurts to love someone
When you can’t even tell that person what you really feel…
Sometimes you get hurt without him knowing.
You get jealous yet you have no right to feel that way.
You want his time yet your not in the position to demand for it.
Your Heart is breaking in silence.
But despite of this, you continue to love
Because somehow in this hurtful love,
There are still happy thoughts and simple moments to look forward to…

Exclamation Mark Exclamation Mark

++ Thought Thoughts ++

PERIOD

Posted by BLogging BLogger at 14:40:55 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Interrogative Question

I don’t originally believe the saying “THE MORE YOU HATE, THE MORE YOU LOVE”
I don’t know. But somehow, my view is changing bit by bit.
Waaaa!!! This is so rampant!

I don’t even have a clear basis for writing this actually.
The words just popped out and there it is!
Something I created with my unconscious mind.
Alalala
Well, anyway, I’ll just share it …

Reckless, I’m reckless
To fall in love with you
The YOU I barely knew
I believed my fate was
You’ll always be the enemy I’ll forever hate

Like the fire’s flame, two colors, red and blue
My heart isn’t two but my feelings are, it’s true
you can’t tell but i’m trying to crack the shell
To Find out what I truly feel for you

I guess I am a fool without a single clue
Please  Give me a que, is it really “I Love You” ?
I’m not yet sure, I love you or I hate you?
If I just know which one of these two

Stupid I know, There’s not a single clue
Why can’t I stop myself, am i falling for you?
I’m not yet sure, I love you or I hate you?
If I just know which one of these two

Groundless, I’m groundless
I should be hating you
But what’s this I’m going through?
To hate you
that’s what I’m supposed to do
How could i fall for you?

I wish to know
Hate or love, please show me
I long to feel the feeling I should feel
Hate or Love
Which One is real


Comments and feedbacks are welcomed! Feel free to comment me on this baseless post…hehe

Posted by BLogging BLogger at 12:04:22 | Permalink | No Comments »

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Withdrawn Reply

I had my last post posted early dawn. I didn’t know this special SHE would still be able to read it right after my post.
SHE was contemplating if she’d comment me through the internet, or should she comment me through text.
SHE preferred the second option in the end though.
I appreciate the comment. It shared the same EMO thought. hehe
I appreciate it much that I wanted to blog it.
And so here I am!!! Blogging it!! (I asked permission anyway.)
Here’s the comment for my post “Chasing Pavements”

“We all do have EMO moments and it’s not really really an EMO moment…
Just the lonely side of us, if not depressed side, surfacing and wanting to be recognized…
So it won’t grow silently inside of us.”

Wooa! deep! hahaha… But SHE made it to the point! It reached my thoughts honestly.
I am motivated…I’d scan for more EMO notes!!! weeeeeee

Thanks for the comment SHE !!!

Posted by BLogging BLogger at 19:26:02 | Permalink | No Comments »

Chasing Pavements


I was scanning my old notes, hoping I would find some relevant notes ’bout our lessons now.
I found something, (things) I didn’t look up for… haha
I noticed I had lots of EMO notes! I can barely remember when I exactly wrote those…
I can’t help but laugh to myself. I didn’t know I was so dramatic way back then..waaaaaa
And about the title…
I’m not really sure if the title of this post is related to the post itself… It was scribbled on the same page I found the EMO note. ANd I can’t think of any other good title for this post..hehe
HEre’s the EMO note i found :

It’s a tiring day. The same agony I have every TTh (Tuesday and Thursday).
Can’t handle my time well, I don’t even know what I wanna do.
Well, there are a lot of things I should consider doing right now.
But it just seems like the world is  pressing down on me.
I can’t move, I’m stuck.
I wanna think, but I can’t.
I have a lot of things I must do, but then there’s none.
I just don’t know how to have a grasp of myself to make things flow the way they should be.
I want to cry, but no amount of tears run down my cheek.
I hate this feeling! The feeling of being miserable…
Hopeless…
Unsecured…
Sick…
Useless…
Unloved???

I’m tired!!!


Quite dramtic huh’?! Well… Now, I just laugh at it.

Posted by BLogging BLogger at 18:22:53 | Permalink | No Comments »

Friday, July 3, 2009

Do I Like My Name?

Firstly, I never wanted to be called by my surname. That would be too formal.
A lot have already asked me this one question which I didn’t pay much attention and effort to answer.
Not until now. . .
They’ve been asking me :

” DO YOU ALWAYS LIKE YOUR NAME? “


Well, nope.
There are unavoidable times when I really curse my name.
It seemed too ordinary and there’s nothing unique about it.
There are even a lot of situations when I hear my name being called, but then, just when I attempt to answer, it’s not me being called after all !
In short, I usually get a false alarm .

I am called ANNA at home. Still common.
They just extracted it from my birth given name JO-ANNA and banished the first two letters — J and O –.
That’s how I got the nickname ANNA at home.

Well, I like it when I’m in school. They call me differently.
Some classmates call me DIMPLES because of my cheek-dimples.
But I like it more when they call me SUEYEE.
I love the sound of it. It’s so new, so unique, and so cute ! weee
Wondering where the heck I got that “SUEYEE” nickname??
Mmm… During the get-to-know-me period of my freshmen year in college, I really had a strong urge to make a change.
And so I wore this name tag with the letters S-U-E-Y-E-E printed clearly in capitals.
They keep on seeing me wear it, so, not long, they got used calling me “SUE YEE “.

BUt all that doesn’t mean I totally hate my name.
At church, I am called JOANNA (or JOAN)…
And they do it in a manner that makes me wanna listen to it.
I don’t know why though.
And what more> my crush calls me by my name JOANNA too !!
I then suddenly had a change of heart towards my birth-given name.

” J O A N N A “    Ü

Anyway, all those things that i mentioned are not what’s important about my name.
What matters most is the deeper meaning, the beautiful memories, that it holds for me. . . ayeee !

Posted by BLogging BLogger at 14:42:23 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Monday, June 29, 2009

Youth Jam

Jam. That’s what I miss about the times I spend together with my fellow youth members in church.
Before, we were having lots of fun jamming.
We sing, we clap, we dance, we play music for the Lord together.
THen time came, we stopped.
We had lesser time together, everyone being busy with their own life.
It’s as if we forgot what we were into before.
The YOUTH FELLOWSHIP .
A fellowship wherein you’ll get to know the Creator, and get to know who you are.
A group where I feel I belong.
It’s really sad we are not that active now. Unlike before…
But we’re trying to make up for it. Yea ! We are indeed making up!
And good news! We just had our first Make Up jam last June 21, 2009.
THere were only few of us. BUt still we had unmeasurable fun together.
It felt like there was a rage of hidden excitement and longing within us as we gathered.
Seems like the bond crept slowly back.
 Familiar feelings. I felt those.
And flashbacks too! THe scenes before… It seemed so fresh in my memory.
Oh how I long to have the ACTIVE youths back.
I hope to have the SPIRIT of a true youth for Christ back within us again…

Posted by BLogging BLogger at 17:14:20 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

good student

Waaaa
I’m a good student!
We’re having our Computer Programming class right now.
And I’m unfortunately not in the mood for listening…
So I opened up an internet explorer window, and logged- in my blog account.
hahaha
I just wanna share what a real student does!
 lol
B.I. ???
nyaaaaaaaa
That’s all.
~________~
 
Posted by BLogging BLogger at 05:00:49 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Disambiguate

I like you, You like me
I can sense that ambiguously
I’m yet too sure if you really do
So if you tell me, tell me true…

You like me, I like you
I can’t tell you, but I feel it too
This ambiguous feeling between us two.
That makes our relationship hanging, a semi - “ME and YOU”

Intrigued by this controversy deep inside of me
And drowned by the pressure of this feeling that’s new to me.
This confusing uncertainties that haunts me even in my dreams
I’m hoping you’ll clear it, DISAMBIGUATE it for me.
‘Coz I’m just a beginner, a freshman, a new comer
This things for me, still seem unfamiliar
So please, Oh Please
Do take the honor…
To make it clear, to disambiguate the matter…

Posted by BLogging BLogger at 15:01:02 | Permalink | No Comments »

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

at last !

I wasn’t really obliged to read a friends’  (more like a sisters’)  blog from the latest down to the first post.
But I did.
Well at first, I wasn’t planning about it.
I was just doing some research for our homework, when by chance, I dropped by her blog..
I read the latest post. Then I started clicking on the previous.
Then, it seems like I got drowned into it.
Can’t help myself but read on.

Some posts we’re happy, some we’re not, her random thoughts, her cute pups.
Her angel in disguise, the people behind her smiles.
About LOVE, about GOODBYE’s.
HER confessions, and wishes, and unforgettable moments.
Stories of heartbreaks, of pain, and of HOPE.

I just read and read until the “Previous Posts” button came to an end.
Ugh… Wish there was more.
And yea! Upon reading it, i’ve got NO REGRETS. JUST LESSONS LEARNED.
wheeeew.

I really need to sleep now. Still have to get up early for tomorrow.

Keep posting KABAGANG CHANG !
Jaiou !

Posted by BLogging BLogger at 15:55:21 | Permalink | Comments (2)

Monday, June 15, 2009

Influenza A(H1N1) ??

Hehehey ! It’s the blogging blogger, blogging again !!!

    After classes were suspended for a week because of the so called Influenza A(H1N1) spreading over the globe, finally the day has come. The most awaited day? Nah.. No way ! haha.. 
    Today is the first day of class. And I’m fortunately in my my sophomore year in college. 
    I’m sure glad I’m not kicked-out of school yet. My classmates were ! That’s why I was a bit paranoid these days. ‘Coz I don’t know when I’ll be kicked-out of school too.
 I hope that day won’t ever come !

Anyway, let’s get back to the topic !

    Today is the first day of class. And I have two subjects this day.
    I got up as early as 5:00 in the morning and I bathe cool water !
(My mom usually let me bath in a warm water. Unfortunately, she had no time to do so this time) 
    I ate breakfast just for the sake of eating. 
    I don’t really have the appetite to eat. 
    But I can’t leave the house until I eat something (edible of course!) .
    THen I have to take a ride to school that takes about more or less 45 minutes depending on how fast the driver drives the jeepney.
    When I got to school. Just from the entrance I can already see the students wearing masks!!! The school guards even asked me why I don’t have one !!!!
    I was really , “WHAT??????” . Is it really that serious now?
    I suddenly felt a cold sweat run down my spine. I was a bit feeling unwell at the time.
    Don’t tell me?????? NO !! Definitely NOT ME !!! 
    I’m healthy !! I sure am ! So healthy I swear I weigh more or less 117pounds!!!
 ahahaha (WHat’s the relevance to the topic? LOL ) 

We’ve been really careful these days …
I just hope AND PRAY , this Influenza A(H1N1) will vanish soon !
Or else, well continue living in terror . Always afraid to be infected with the virus.
That’s not a HEALTHY LIVING right?

Whew! Class has started again !!
Expect more homeworks, projects, and surprise quizzes!!

Goodluck to us all !

Posted by BLogging BLogger at 11:51:13 | Permalink | No Comments »